Now that the month of May is approaching, an odd sort of worry is haunting me. This is because come May and I would invariably fall sick, albeit briefly.
Somehow, there has never been any serious problem. With God's grace, it would be a problem like, say, diarrhoea, cold and cough, high fever and the like. But sick I would fall.
Strangely, this phenomenon occurs only during the first fortnight of the month of May, almost every year. And interestingly, this has been happening right since my childhood. The cause or causes remain a mystery.
When I was about six or seven years old, I often felt as if I was sinking in a huge heap of wheat or some such food grain, going down deeper and deeper and I would be suffocated to death. Videos had not been invented by then and I had not seen any film either. I had absolutely no idea of how a person must be feeling while sinking in quicksand.
Yet, I experienced the feeling. I would get scared and tell my mother about it. Once I hid myself in her lap and felt immensely secure, notwithstanding the May heat in the kitchen where she was working sitting on the floor in front of an old type of hearth.
She comforted me, assuring that nothing of the kind (sinking) was going to happen. Yet, I would run high fever that would put me in the bed for the next few days. The hallucination got repeated a couple of times. My mother probably felt it was too petty an issue to be broached with my father. And I was too young to explore the 'why' of it myself.
When I was at school, the results of the annual home examinations used to be announced on 10th or 14th of May. Invariably, all the students, many accompanied by their parents, went to the school for the most eagerly awaited event where our headmaster used to announce the result of each and every student. I also yearned for that great day.
But I remember how quite a few times, afflictions like high fever held me back. I had to spend anxious hours tossing in the bed till my father returned home to announce the grade I was awarded at the examination.
Baffled
This annual sickness baffled our near and dear ones who came out with their own diagnosis and suggested instant remedies. Some one tried to comfort me saying it was nothing unusual. "It happens". It was simply the examination result-related fear psychosis.
Another year in the month of May I suffered from jaundice which took more time to go. However, one happy feature was that the ailment required me to gulp down plenty of sugarcane juice which was more than welcome because I have a sweet tooth.
On one occasion, our class teacher called for names of students who were willing to go on a school trip to Nainital, a hill resort in Uttarakhand, in the first week of May. I jumped at the opportunity knowing well that it does not knock twice but next moment the timing watered down my enthusiasm.
Nevertheless, I gave my consent without bothering about any possible adverse prospects. I went with the school party but developed high fever coupled with a few other afflictions in Nainital. I was an odd man out in the group.
Well, if the heat of May did not suit me in the plains, the cool weather of the hill station did not suit me either.
The phenomenon was repeated even in subsequent years, on one occasion just before my marriage in the month of May. Mercifully, I became fit enough soon to eat all that was served to me in accordance with any north Indian marriage.
As I glance at the calender, the first half of May is fast approaching and I am wondering why I have been falling sick during this period.
Lalit Raizada is a journalist based in India.
