You all are familiar with the foot and mouth epidemic that raged some years ago, causing some consternation among meat-eaters as they weighed their options. What I am more familiar with is foot in the mouth syndrome, which is what I suffer from. This sees no signs of waning as the years go by, with no remedy for this malady in sight. It is not necessarily something that is inherent, in one's blood so to speak. The affliction passes some by while visiting others with increased frequency.
Take the time when a group of us were fulminating over certain qualities of the boss, with each contributing to the build-up of this person's character sketch. Just as we were warming up to the subject, he happened to appear, seemingly from nowhere. Needless to say, everyone but me could see him. Unaware of his presence, I continued with my tirade, oblivious to the ominous signs such as my listeners' eerie silence and the shaking of the head by one of them, apparently a sign that something was amiss.
Absorbed in my narrative, I assumed that the head shaking was a confirmation and affirmation of my deep insights into that gentleman's character. Imagine my shock when a voice broke into my monologue, making light of all I had just said.
After a minute or two of an uneasy silence as I tried to think of how to react, I decided to go with the flow and carry on with the conversation (if it could be called that), acknowledging his presence and pretending that the subject under recent discussion was a person unknown to him. As I found myself getting deeper and deeper into convoluted explanations, a friend came to the rescue with a complete change of subject. The hint was taken at last and the new thread of discourse was seized upon as desperately as the last straw.
One would think I would have learnt my lesson by now. But try changing the spots on a leopard, always assuming one were brave enough to get close enough to make the attempt. So, I have continued rushing in where angels fear to tread. This propensity can be compared to the instinct of lemmings making the big leap towards certain death. I have honestly tried to curb this fatal flaw but with little success.
No effect
Tried and tested sayings such as look before you leap (in my case, think before you open your mouth) have had no effect in minimising my embarrassing moments. I look, close my eyes and then leap. And find there is nothing to cushion the fall. Bruised and battered, I pick myself up and continue on the path to self-destruction. Friends and family tell me that I must learn to be more circumspect but although I know well the meaning of the word I am unable to stop the headlong rush.
This uncontrollable weakness has seen me present my views on badly brought up children only to realise much later that the woman next to me happened to be the mother of one such kid. And while I admire her for lending me her ear, I am surprised that I wasn't thrown out on mine in the midst of my rant.
After that experience, I have made it a point of making every stranger in a social setting identify themselves. I learn who they are, who in the room they are related to or are friends with and what their relationship is with the host. I play it safe. I make them do the talking. And if somewhere along the line they direct the conversation towards subjects I feel strongly about, I try to suppress the irresistible urge to make pronouncements which somehow end up backfiring on me.
Whoever said honesty is the best policy obviously never practised the same. If her or she did, they would have retracted this statement after experiencing all the trouble it can get one into. If I remember right there are certain religious orders which refrain from speech. Silence is obviously golden. Now that's one saying that has a grain of truth in it.
