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I’m glad I’m not an elite athlete. Okay, you can stop sniggering now. You want to know what my personal best was in the 100m? Er, I’m too embarrassed to say it out loud. My timing was (whisper, whisper). No I’m not kidding. Yes, that was in the 100m, not the 200m. Like I said, stop sniggering.
No, the reason I’m glad I’m not an elite athlete is simple. If I’d been picked to represent my country at the Beijing Olympics, I’d want to know that my team nutritionist had a major say in what I consumed during the Games.
But the Chinese authorities have not only banned all food imports for athletes during the Games; they have even insisted that all food must be sourced from within the host country.
Here’s the problem. China doesn’t produce Vegemite. How can you expect Australians to perform without Vegemite? It’s like asking Italians to go without pasta or pizza.
Maybe this is the perfect time for me to get on the phone and talk to someone in the Chinese Customs service. You see, I’m curious about what is going to happen to a consignment that was shipped to Beijing recently.
It contained boxes of cereal, muesli bars and power bars for the Australian participants.
And now it seems no one can tell us whether it has reached its destination or whether the contents will find their way to the Games Village.
Another container load was due to be shipped to China shortly, including a stockpile of Vegemite.
Remember the Asterix comics and how the gutsy Gauls used to quaff magic potion before they sallied forth into battle? That’s the sort of effect Vegemite has on Aussies.
But if the Beijing authorities confiscate it, it’ll be The Case Of The Great Chinese Takeaway.
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