Once upon a time a rabbit was passing through a forest and saw a fox nearby.
"Oh my goodness! A Fox!" exclaimed the rabbit. "Foxes eat rabbits. I'd better hop away as fast as I can before he sees me and eats me up."
And so the rabbit hopped away speedily. A second rabbit was walking past and saw the same fox.
He thought, "Oh goodness a fox! Foxes eat rabbits. I'd better hop off before he sees me."
However, being fearful and less confident he thought, "But what if I can't hop away fast enough? What if the fox sees me and outruns me? What if there is no place for me to hide? What if...CHOMP!"
Our opinion
Self-esteem is what we think of ourselves, about our abilities and our perception of what others think of us.
It is our overall sense of personal effectiveness. Children with good self-esteem are better able to face the challenges of life and develop healthy relationships with themselves and others.
Parents play a very important role in helping children develop a healthy self-image.
How often do we forget to shower our children with little words of encouragement? Parents tend to overlook the impact words like "good job", "well-done", "that was great", can have on their children.
Here are some pointers to keep in mind to help raise children with a positive self-image:
1 Set suitable standards for your children and help them do the same for themselves. If unachievable standards are constantly set, it will ensure that they feel discouraged.
2 A survey of adults with special needs revealed that the one factor that lead them to move on in life was the faith expressed in them by a caring adult. Belief in your child's abilities is one of the major driving forces in his achieving success. Build your child's confidence to handle challenges by showing that you trust his abilities.
3 Praise ... Praise ... Praise! Probably one of the most powerful tools in building your child's self-image. Focus on your child's strengths and successes rather than constantly pointing out his weaknesses and failures.
4 One of the most common sources of discouragement is trying to do too much too fast. Teach your children that the longest journeys start with a single step. Your child needs to approach challenges one step at a time, so as to not feel overwhelmed by them.
5 Do not criticise or ridicule your children. Target the behaviour and not the child. Instead of saying something like, "You are so lazy. Your room looks horrible. Can't you do anything right?" use statements like, "I would like you to keep your clothes in your closet so that your room will look neater."
6 Do not compare your children to others. I am sure you have heard this countless times, yet we still can't resist the temptation of commenting on our next door neighbour's son's performance on the math test which is naturally much better than your son's. Comparing your child to his siblings or others is a sure fire way of making him feel inadequate.
7 Empower your child so that he will be successful in overcoming obstacles. Teach your children the art of positive self-talk. For example, a child who is stressed out for an exam can be taught to practise statements like, "I am well-prepared for the exam. I am going to do well in it," or a child who has just lost a match could be taught to say, "It's all right that we did not win. We tried our best and that's what matters." Negative self-talk is the main cause of children experiencing a lack of confidence.
8 Help your children to be able to laugh at themselves. Teach them that life is not always that serious. A good sense of humour and an ability to make light of life are important to help our children enjoy life!
Our children live in a complex and competitive world in which maintaining a positive outlook can be challenging.
Your child cannot expect life to be free from obstacles and risks. The key to their riding through the storms is taking action with confidence in themselves.
The story of the two rabbits at the start of this article highlights the importance of a healthy self-image in being able to cope effectively with the trials presented to us in our daily lives.
The writer is a DOH, Dubai and US certified guidance counselor with an M.Ed degree in school counseling from Boston, USA. She is currently working as co-ordinator - counseling services, GEMS, UAE.
