In the past, people were more willing to accept whatever life meted out to them in order to make their marriages work. Nowadays, marriage is considered quite outdated. Divorce rates have never been so high. People are seemingly unhappy, both with themselves, and their partners.
I do not mean to say that peaceful co-existence between a man and a woman is easy. No, certainly not! On the contrary, it is tough and demanding, to put it mildly. Arranged marriages can be quite challenging, as also marriages solemnised through love.
While courting, the couple seem to love everything about each other. But as soon as the knot is tied, the spice pretty much fizzles out and we are left with two frustrated individuals who think: “What did I ever see in her/him?”
Being in the third year of my 'arranged' marriage, I know the difficulties involved. You know nothing about one another and your first shy declarations of love were probably uttered out of obligation. To say the least.
Tricky terrain
You hate the combination of his red shirt and shocking pink tie, while the sight of your black coffee irks him. He is a loyal advocate of a certain brand of toothpaste while you can't see beyond the wonders of another brand. His army of (useless) gadgets scorches your insides and if you had your way, to the dustbin they would go.
He has decided you do not know the first thing about cooking. When you do happen to get his attention while talking, he can all but stifle a yawn.
He pretends to look interested, just as you do when he explains the complex intricacies of his car's engine. Needless to say, you are discovering one another. The nasty fights are a given.
There is a lot of guesswork in this now-off now-on relationship. Sometimes even the most pitiful avalanche of tears will not accomplish what 'the silent treatment' will.
Then there are couples that fall in love and get married. They complete each other's sentences — sometimes half way and at other times even without saying a word. Hence the term 'better half'.
All of us know some really special couples, both young and old. Ever so often they will call each other for no reason at all, or perhaps just to inform about the most insignificant thing: “Look outside, its getting cloudy and the clouds have weird shapes!”
They have no secrets and the whole world pales in comparison to the joy they get in each other's company. To be quite truthful, nothing so excellent exists in this world.
— The writer is a Gulf News reader based in Dubai.
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